An Attitude of Gratitude -- or happiness in a jar

  

 “You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” 

— Sarah Ban Breathnach

                                            check out altered jars here http://whitchcraft.blogspot.com

 This year I've decided that a pretty jar, some scraps of paper, maybe a bit of ribbon and a nice pen will be included in my gift giving at the winter Holidays....
 I want to give the gift of Gratitude. It is the most important thing in my life's tool box and I want to pass it along to those I love. A few people will open the box, see the contents and know exactly what it is and what its for--a few others may need a quick explanation; those who know will know because we used to do this when they were younger (hello to you, my children!).

                                                                The Gratitude Jar 

    When my children were younger our house was the house all the kids came to after school. I worked from home so I was there when they would all troop in en mass -usually hungry, happy and anxious to chatter about their day. I loved it! The kitchen was the room where the Good News of the afternoon was thrown out around the large mosaic tile island, drinks sipped and snacks snacked on. The large windows- free of curtains or treatments- let in every bit of available sunlight.

 The formal dining room, however, became the Bad News gathering place. With its formal furnishings, heavy window treatments and dark red walls it was a beautiful, yet somber area... quite fitting, really. 

     As the kids got older I noticed that we began spending much more of our after school time in the Dining Room and the litany of complaints, wrong doings, and petty gossip began to be a regular occurrence.  I tried listening and acknowledging, I tried cheering up and laughing it off, I tried reasoning... but the Doom and Gloom continued. 

 I began really not looking forward to the troops of kids coming in every afternoon and that distressed me a great deal so I decided to change the scenario....

    I grabbed a plain glass jar -probably something left over from a florist's daisy -- a pen and some cut strips of paper. I labeled the jar --GRATITUDE JAR- arranged the paper strips and pen in front of it on the sideboard in the dining room and waited for the troops to arrive.

 When they came in --already complaining, by the way, I stopped them all mid sentence, led them into the dining room and explained the new 'rule'. From now on before ANYTHING at ALL is discussed each one of them is to go into the dining room, write down at least one thing that they are grateful for that day, fold it up, put it into the jar and THEN come in and talk to me...

                                                         You could hear crickets.....

I guess I was not terribly realistic when I thought a gaggle of pre-teens would meet this new activity with joy and happiness, though in reality that is really what I thought would occur. And I suppose I was not thinking clearly when I thought that they would do this willingly and with an open mind- but I was kind of hoping for it. ...

   So I cajoled one after the other to The Jar (based on the faces read : The Guillotine) and insisted that 'of course at least one good thing has happened to you today' and ra-ra'ed in good cheerleader fashion their writing it and placing it in the jar. This went on this very same fashion for more days than was probably necessary with sometimes up to 5 different kids and a husband. I was relentlessly cheerful and positive and happy (dammnit).. and ... it WORKED. I suspected I was getting somewhere when I was reminding fewer kids to go write down their 'one good thing'. I knew it worked when my favorite neighbor girl showed up one evening on her own and announced that she had "something wonderful to put into the jar". She ran in, wrote something on a slip of paper, put it in the jar and ran back out. Success!!!

   For several months after that EVERYONE who came by saw the jar, wrote something on a piece of paper and slipped it in.. it was truly amazing and heart warming.

 At Yule (different from Christmas but sort of the same--I'll explain in another post) I gathered all who were interested and had participated in the Gratitude Jar Project to my house for the final part of my plan... (insert not-very -evil laughter here)

                          I burned the slips of paper. Without reading a one. Seriously.

I think my guests were equal parts horrified and perplexed. But I had a plan....

  I assembled a variety of  dried herbs and berries ,colored ribbons and  colored glitter, vintage baubles, and gold and silver paint pens in small dishes lined up like a buffet. I gave each one of my guests a clear glass ornament with the cap and hanger removed. I asked them to go along the buffet of seasonal items--each one meant to symbolize Good Fortune, Health, Abundance, Wealth, Happiness,  etc. and fill their ornament with the items that most spoke to them.  When everyone was done I then passed along the dish that contained the ashes of the Gratitude Jar and we each added a spoonful of this to our ornament. Each person then capped their glass ball, added a ribbon hanger and decorated the outside with a symbol, word, or drawing of their choice. 

            And it was beautiful.

 So far as I know most of us still have our Gratitude Charms, they hang in a place of honor every year on our trees erected and decorated to represent Life Eternal at the darkest time of the year. Because what is Forever if there is no Happiness? And how can there be happiness with no gratitude?