Roller Coaster Ride...

I tell ya-- these past 6 weeks have been one emotional ride--highs, lows, dips, spins, about right, turn left--I'm exhausted.

We began the Holiday season with a one-two punch; our renters (who's rent goes to pay the mortgage on the house that they are in) did not pay and our beloved Megan (see previous post) became extremely ill with acute pancreatitus. Emotional and financial disasters. The renters left us holding the bag for an additional monthly expense of over $500 and the medical bills for the dog totaled over $700. At Christmas--sheesh. I'm not sure about the financial portfolio of my half a dozen readers here but for us this was a huge hit. The good news is that Megan was stabilized and has recovered well. We essentially 'set the clock back' on her health and the hope is that she will remain healthy and pain free for the next year or so. The bad--another month has passed with the renters not paying. This time the money to make up for what they have not paid wiped out our fund for our yearly trip to New Orleans. As of this writing we have exactly 10 days to acquire the funds to go. I have been in a tailspin about this. This trip is basically planned on and worked for all year long and was ripped away from us by a couple who makes more in state aid than we do working in a month but can't seem to make their monthly financial obligations. We have begun eviction but the final court fees will cost us an additional several hundred dollars--which we do not have. This has all left me feeling horribly angry and resentful -- emotions that are exhausting, debilitating and -in the end- pointless.

  And then I woke up this morning feeling hopeful and lighter. I just cannot maintain that low level emotional stew, just can't. So this morning I woke up finally accepting two things: 1.) I will eventually have to say good bye to my beloved dog and it will probably never be 'the right time' for me. 2.) Our planned trip to New Orleans for Carnival may not occur this year. And I am OK with this today.(I know--these are fairly simple things but I am tenacious when it comes to my attachments! Sometimes to my own detriment.)

Acceptance.

SO SO SO important for my emotional and physical well-being. And it doesn't mean that I have to --or DO-- like a thing. Simply that I know it will be fine no matter what and that disappointment happens. Heartbreak happens. People don't follow through--and its all OK anyway.

 Right now the sun is shining and the skies are blue. I've given Meg her medicine that keeps her healthy and pain free and I've decided that if the trip to New Orleans falls through we will re-group and go somewhere warmer for Spring Break. As for the renters (now squatters)? I will give them to option to vacate within a certain time period or take them to court. Their choice.

And it will be fine..

"Sufficient Unto The Day Is The Evil Thereof"